She fought in a war...
Post date: Jan 27, 2013 3:19:28 AM
She fought in a war that she probably shouldn't,
with the eyes of a girl and the strength of a woman.
And all she's got left is the words in her head,
and how they made judgments by the things that she said.
She fought with every...fiber in her being,
hoping in the end it would have some kind of meaning.
Maybe somewhere...far down the road,
the story will make sense as its being told.
Maybe somewhere...else in time,
I wasn't yours and you weren't mine.
Maybe I'm mad and kind of pissed off,
cause things didn't go the way that I thought.
Writing and painting is my way of expressing,
all of the feelings that I've been repressing.
See I know a little something...about pain,
about the embarrassment, engulfed by the shame.
I too have days where the walls meet my fists,
my cup is half full, but it's half filled with piss.
My mind has taken me to another dimension of time,
where I was brought back to face what was mine.
The residual fear that creeps in my head,
and grabs hold of my thoughts as I lay there in my bed.
I feel like screaming but I can't make a sound.
But no one would know, because no ones around.
I deal with the guilt, embarrassment and shame.
But yours and mine, they don't look the same.
I may have fought with all of my might,
but this time it wasn't worth putting up a fight.
This time I needed to take a step back,
and make up for myself everything that you lacked.
I had to stop putting my faith in your hands.
I had to stop screaming and making demands.
We both fought in wars that maybe we shouldn't,
but I am approaching this war as a woman.
And as a woman who is so filled with feeling,
Laying there at night staring up at the ceiling.
I beg of you please remember my story.
Remember my strength and all of my glory.
Remember the time when I begged on my knees,
begging you to feel and empathize, please.
It wasn't until then that I understood your pain.
But from that point on things haven't been the same.
And I have changed so much since that lonely time.
Aggressively claiming back what is rightfully mine.
And I find myself in a familiar place.
With a different setting and a different face.
But once again faced with the decision to peruse,
one day meeting the healthy version of you.
See I fight in wars that I wish I just wouldn't,
with the girl to lead, the way for the woman.
And show her the strength that evolved out of pain,
with nothing familiar, but everything's the same.
I may have fought and I may have lost,
but I didn't give up despite the cost.
Because this woman derives strength from the child withing,
and that is why this fight, she'll undoubtedly win.