It's 3 o'clock somewhere

Post date: Jan 25, 2013 7:47:14 PM

Wow it’s 3 am… why I am still laying here in full combat gear. Yep that last mission, in that hellhole they call a city, had us out for 8 hours straight but so what. Man I need to get something eat before our next call. but all I can do is watch my boys as they write their letters home or play that video game like it’s the last super bowl in the world. (haaph) The game was on pause the whole time and the TV was froze like we dumped it on the dace floor at the prom. It only seems like we were gone to get some popcorn or a drinks, not that we had been out dismantling IED’s or conducting post blast investigations. Ooo I can’t forget our standard RPG attacks, poor saps, most of they had no aiming skills what so ever which was in our benefit of course but most likely they were only shooting at us because their families’ were being held at gunpoint. Wow I still can’t get over the aftermaths of those deadly IED’s attacks. You know one of these day we have to let the mortuary services beat us to the scene. Ooo of course I got o love our friendly sniper. He is like that creepy neighbor that always waves but there is just something not right with him. Difference here is our friendly neighbor isn’t taking pot shots at us with a sniper rifle that is silenced, I wish the sniper would would wave that would make my job so much easer. …. (sigh) I need to get up, take this gear off and write that letter that I have been putting of to my boys. But it could be any moment before we get the next call… the call for me to put my Marines in harms way again. Yes its our JOB, our mission… but... but dammit , these are My Marines, My boys, they mothers have entrusted me with their sons life's…. Yes… they are protecting our nations freedom, our way of life and the very world my sons are growing up in. …But why should my boys at home be any less important? Yes… my Marines could go on to be the next Chesty Puller but why doesn’t my own flesh and blood deserve the same devotion.

They all are kids, they all could change the world so how do I balance my passion that I believe in. It should be equal as they are all my boys… But.. If I had the choice I would never second guess giving my life, before sending one of Marines home draped with a flag. Hmmmm… this isn’t getting any easer to analyze. I know what The mission is but what is MY mission… who am I protecting?.. Some one else could do just as well, leading My Marines… or just as well, being a father to my boys... …I think I have to change My mission. Ok Ok I need to get up, I’ll check on my Marines and make sure they are drinking water..(shock pause). Crap why is Cpl Smith running this way? SSgt we got another 9 line! Without another fraction of a thought, my EOD security team dropped everything that mean anything, running out the door, lock and loaded,ready…ready to defend… to defend our brothers in arms.

Wow it’s 3 pm and am so ready to spend time with my boys again. This summer has been the longest we have been apart since I left Active duty 6 years ago. But it is what it is as they seamed happy visiting their mom in Quantico. Man is it load in here with that stupid TV commercial. I hate those commercials that make you scrabble for the remote to turn down the volume. It looks like the two vets in the corner hate it as much as I do becomes they don’t look happy that it interrupted their conversation about classes and partying. (laught) I remember those days like they were yester….. what am I kidding my self, that was decades ago and In here I am no spring chicken. I still feel at home here… but with that uneasy felling of the unknown. All of the veterans in here are nice, they said hi and asked if I had any questions when I walked in the door but they didn’t ask my name. It was like I was expected but yet they couldn’t tell if I was just passing through. Well in here I haven’t earned any stripes yet but I am ok with that now.

… I have a lot more answers than I use too. And for that peer advisor that is helping that veteran on benefits, I want to interrupt so bad. I could make it so much clearer on the the changes for the benefits but he is learning, learning to lead as a civilian leader. You know what … I can see it now, I know wow I can help, I can make a difference in these emerging leaders. Yep we all have our missions, that’s why we are here but why didn’t I chose a school streamline for professionals again? Ok ok that’s right; I want to help more veterans than I have in the past. Why not live the life of a veteran that is figuring life out… all over again. (hummm) But what happens when I get to that point again were I have to compromise…. Compromise my ability of a being a devoted single father to help others? … Well I need to sit up anyway…. Hey that must be Nancy walking in… Hi Michael, Let see what great things we can accomplish.

With out a fraction of a thought, I pick up everything that means anything, walk out the door, locked and loaded, ready.... ready for the challenge.......ready to serve againl…