Post date: Jun 01, 2013 6:40:1 PM
Hawaii waves are the best in the world, Sailing, Snorkeling,
Scuba, Surfing, Kayaking and whale watching are all part of the fun.
Our vacation was almost over. My wife and I love it here, we talked it over, Hawaii is where we want to spend the rest of our lifes. Kauai is one of (8) eight islands in Hawaii. The locals call this island (the flower of paradise).
We did a short sell on our house in Texas along with everything we owned. So excited making a new beginning. Everything was let go at bargin price and still made a nice profit. In the mean time our agent in Kauai called us. She said the house we were interested in, near the cliffs over looking the ocean was still available. Do you still want it? I ask our agent, “ is the Pope catholic,” she said yes and laughed.
Lisa was so happy that we were going to move to Hawaii. I knew it would save our marriage. The decision we make was the right one. Lisa was a Marine, a dam good Marine. She did two combat tours in the middle east. A very physical, joyful up beat beautiful girl. I call her my lady the leatherneck. She could be tough as nails or gentle as a flower. She was not only my wife but my best friend. We did everything together. When she deployed to a far off land, we wrote to each other everyday. When the opportunity was there we’d go on web cam every chance we get.
For a long time my life was empty and lonely. My world began when I meet Lisa. I remember the first time she caught my eyes. We were both at lake Isabella for the summer kayaking races. I couldn’t get her attention so I intentionally hit her kayaka on the side with mine. We both went overboard into the cold water. It was so funny we laughed so hard. Every since that day we had so much fun together. I married Lisa (3) three months later while she was still in the armed forces.
We received news that her company was ordered back to the middle-east. The news devastated me. I didn’t want her to go. We were newlyweds. We tried but couldn’t alter her orders, she had to go. Just then Lisa made a promise to me. She ask me to look her in the eyes and said, “I will be back Bob.” For nine long months, nine long months I thought about her every single day. One day the door bell rang, I open the door, there was Lisa in uniform with that big smile on her face. What a beautiful day. Lisa kept her promise to me and soon was honorably discharged from the corps at Fort Bliss, Texas.
Employment was scarce and we didn’t plan any kids yet. Lisa stayed home a lot. However I could see the change in her. She became less affectionate, disinterested in activities we would normally enjoy. There were nightmares. She would wake up at night screaming, drenched in sweat. She never told me about the nightmares she keep saying , “Bob you would never understand,” it was kept from everyone. Our house was located near a military base in Texas. There were times went the base was engaged in military exercise the sound of the big guns would go off. Lisa would go down on both knees with both arms around her head. A convoy rumbas by, she just stares at them. I have to snap her out of it. I knew I had to get her out of Texas, get her away from all of that. Little did I know it wasn’t the enviroment.
After landing on Kauai in the Hawaiian Islands. We drove up in a rental car toward our new home near the top of the mountain. I told Lisa, “now I know why the locals call this place the flower of paradise,” there were arrays of beautiful flowers everywhere. She looked at me and smile. I love it when she smiles.
It took months before we completely settle in and finished our renovation to the house. At last all was completed. A house warming party was in order. We invited some of the local neighbors over. One of our neighors was a general contractor. Some of the contruction Frank did was taking the spare room and expanding it. It was converted into my office space with build in bookshelf’s and redwood cabins. This is where I do my work as a stockbroker. My most prize renovation was in the master bedroom. We demoed the west outside walk and added double French doors. When you opened it and walked out you are then standing on a newly constructed balcony over looking the cliff. I enjoy showing this balcony off. You could hear the mighty ocean waves crashing on the rock below. I fine it so soothing, I could sleep to that sound at night.
I noticed Lisa wasn’t socializing with our neighbors. When the party was over she would go back into the room and sit in the dark she seem depressed, unmotivated, tense. I thought she might be a little home sick.
A couple of days later I asked Lisa,” lets go out and do something”, How about snorkeling, kayaking or just drive around the island. I wanted her to come out of that depressed state of mined she was in. I couldn’t figure it out, what she was so depress about. Lisa then got very angry with me and wanted to be left along.
One day after a late kayaking I came home just before sunset, I put away my kayak. Then went into the house. I couldn’t fine Lisa. I looked everywhere. I then started to search the grounds.The sun was already setting, the moon was bright and full which gave me some light in my searches.
Suddenly there was Lisa across the road near the very edge of the cliff. She didn’t see me as I approached her. I was getting closer and closer toward the cliff. Lisa then turned around as the moonlight reflected off her face. I could see tears from her eyes. Without a word spoken…SHE JUMPED…
I wanted to share this story with you, so it wouldn’t happen to you. Its been over 10 years now since that jump. Lisa was my rock, she will never die in me as long as I live. I love her so much. May her soul rest in peace. I never recognized the signs and was never told about, PTSD.
No more the person I grew to know
Happiness is no where to be found
Alone in a darken room, no one around
It affects me too, so close to the stress
To witness someone once happy, now so depressed
The difference is like night and day
PTSD took the person I knew and love away……
BY: Robert Yonan